Built-in Frustration

My teacher told me the system has built-in frustration. This is facet of a discussion you’ll probably have regarding how long it takes to “get it”. He said that if one person takes 10 years and the next takes 20, what difference does it make as long as they both reach their goal? That’s connected to the thinking that we compete with ourselves, not with others.

If you’ve done only one lesson in the arts you have probably told yourself that it is harder than it looks. Being that most humans will seek the path of least resistance in most things, it may be easier to tell yourself that the activity is not worth it. That’s where we start to see the frustration factor.

I have had people come in to take a class and decide that it’s just too hard. One only took 15 minutes to make that decision. She holds the record for the shortest intro lesson. Discussing this with other people we have the opinion that she’s the type of person who needs it the most. She succumbed to the frustration factor.

Preconception is typically what hurts us in this matter. We see it and think it’s easy. We try, and find it’s not. It’s the beginning of a logic tree. See it- decide to try, yes or no. If no, we go to the next idea. If yes, we find a class. We take the class and decide if it’s for us – yes or no. If no, we invested some time and effort and move on to something else. If yes, we return for more. Now we may have built an artificial timeline of goals. “By June I’ll know the short form, by December I’ll have the long form,” etc. Any number of events may occur to slow us down or even prevent us for making those goals. That’s frustrating.

We have laughed about how we come to class thinking this will be a great thing to relieve stress, improve health, calms the mind and so on. Then we find that it’s more difficult than we thought and get rather wound up about not knowing the next step in a sequence or that we don’t have the breathing right. More frustration. This path has resistance.

The logic tree says we need to make a decision. Do we continue or quit? My teacher told me that in the traditions of tai chi, you were required to do it for three years once you started. Only then were you experienced enough to make an informed decision. Not a Western type of thinking at all.

You have to work through the tough parts. This is where the art teaches or reinforces discipline. The benefits are not given, they are earned. If you quit or do not get yourself on a regular practice schedule, you don’t get the fruits of the labor. Frustration is part of the dues paid.

The Western mind does not want to hear a “you get it when you get it” statement. The teacher is a guide and can give you some direction but the rest is up to you.

Until next time,

Lee